"standing on the rooftops...

I'm terribly sorry blog...

2009-09-28T12:49:00.000-07:00

I have ignored you for some time ):
Forgive me? <3
Anyhoo. For those of you who do read this little shindig of a blog, I changed the name. Courtesy of one of my all-time favorite songs; Rooftops by Lost Prophets.
So I'm currently my life has been fairly average(lol MLIA :D) I dated a boy for a few days, but it really it felt wrong. Cliche right? I felt bad. But I had my reasons, you know?
So...I turn 16 in 6 days :D woot. Finally. Though the real happy-day will be when I'm 16 and 6 mos. Since I'll be able to get my license then.
I'm really rambling here. I'm sorry D;
...diving starts extremely soon! If I never mentioned it before (I probably did) diving is my flippin' life, yo. It's going to be quite a painful year thoughOh lordy.

I guess I'll end my ramblings there.
For now.

<3

oh how we change.

2009-07-09T19:55:00.000-07:00

I guess you could say I'm one of those people who tends to change a lot. Slowly, day by day no change, but when you look back I'm completely different. I felt like reflecting, cause that's what blogs are for right? Reflecting, ranting, and gloating. Kinda.

Relationships

I'm not quite as naive. I'm more about me then I used to be, not so much about, oh I don't know if I'll find another guy after you so I'm not gonna let go. I was like that for a short short time awhile ago. But I am so much more about me. I want a guy who shows he loves me, who will show me off to his friends. I need a guy who's a good guy, yet can get down and dirty, not quite like that, but to an extent. Most of all, I need a guy I can be me around, and same to him. And I'm not quite as boy-crazy and don't go liking so many guys when I'm single.

Style

In the past couple years, I've went from hoodies all the time, to preppy, to 'skater'//'scene'? I don't know how to describe it. To where I am now, just me, day to day.

Confidence

Oh lord. Where to begin. I used to be, not shy, but not that out there. I'd never be caught dead doing stuff I will do in a heartbeat now. I love to dance, and I'll dance my booty off when I'm in a crowd and even grind. This time last year I'll be damned if I would've been like now. I will say hi to people I am just meeting and talk as if I've known them forever. And I'll easily flirt with and talk to cute boys. Something I'd have trouble with before or I would come on way too strong.

Looks

Well. Here goes the ego trip. I'm gonna be honest, I used to be...not the prettiest, I still don't think I am. But I think it's improvement. No more glasses. I can use make-up, and use it well. I can do my hair and make it look good. My face isn't quite so imperfect with blemishes.

I'm out of ideas. Chances are there are tons of other topics. But hey. It's 11:12 (damn missed 11:11!) and my brain ain't the most active

<3>

fifty lyrics

2009-07-07T11:35:00.000-07:00

I've done one of these before but a bit different, it was 100 things about yourself, but I'm doing it 50 lyrics. Because lyrics and my life really go hand in hand.
I doubt I'll put the song they're from unless someone asks. Any of them that are bold mean something to me right now. If they aren't they meant something at some point<3>

"& I'd die to win, cause I'm born to lose"
"what's worth the price is always worth the fight"
"do you feel better now, as she falls to the ground?"
"life for you has been less than kind, so take a number, stand in line. we've all been sorry, we've all been hurt. but how we survive is what makes us who we are"
"show me how to lie, you're getting better all the time. and turning all against one is an art that's hard to teach. another clever word sets off an unsuspecting herd, and as you step back into line, a mob jumps to their feet"
"and when the sky is falling, don't look outside the window"
"we'll write a song, that turns out the lights, when both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside"
"she said lets change our luck, this night is all we've got. drive fast until we crash, this dead end life"
"say your sorry, that face of an angel comes out when you need it most. as i paced back and forth all this time cause i honestly believed in you"
"but I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, it's 2 AM and i'm cursing your name. you're so in love that you act insane. and that's the way I loved you. & breaking down and coming undone, it's a roller coaster kind a rush"
"do you ever wanna run away? do you lock yourself in your room? with the radio on turned up so loud that no one hears you screamin'?"
"standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out"
"i'll show you mine, if you show me yours first. let's compare scars. i'll tell you whose is worse"
"you never could get it. unless you were fed it. now you're here and you don't know why"
"she couldn't take one more day. home was more her prison now"
"cause this is more than just a dance hall drug, you can't wait to fall in love"
"the city sleeps and we're lost in the moment, another kiss as we're lyin on the pavement. if they could see us they would tell us that we're crazy. but we know they just don't understand"
"she's got this journal filled, with all her black ink guilt, and love is the only thing keeping her alive"
"breathe in deep and say goodbye, the saddest song i'll ever write for anyone, anytime"
"they say you never know what you got til it's gone"
"you're the closest to heaven. that i'll ever be. and i don't wanna go home right now"
"sometimes goodbye is a second chance"
"say a prayer, but let the good times roll. in case god doesn't show"
"am i more than you bargained for yet?"
"all this time he was taking her for granted, she wants to see. if there's more. than he gave; she's looking for"
"i couldn't tell you, why she felt that way. she felt it, everyday"
"the stars in the sky illuminate below, the night is a sign that love will guide you home"(I love this one)
"t-tell your boyfriend. if he says he's got beef, that i'm a vegetarian and i ain't fuckin' scared of him"
"what if i wanted to break? laugh it all off in your face. what would you do?"
"once a whore, you're nothing more, sorry that will never change"
"because when i was younger i would say; when i grow up i wanna be famous, i wanna be a star"
"oh well, i guess we're gonna find out how far we've come"
"i'm blending in so you won't even know me"
"i will never let you fall. i'll stand up with you forever"
"all these asphyxiated, self medicated, take the white pill you'll feel alright"
"i'd be lying if i told you losing you was something i could handle"
"these children learn from cigarette burns, fast cars, fast women and cheap drinks"
"and baby when it's love if it ain't rough than it ain't fun"
"you say you gotta go and find yourself. you say that you're becoming someone else. don't recognize the face in the mirror looking back at you"
"you're like a black cat, with a black backpack filled with fireworks, and you're gonna burn the city down right now"
"remember what you told me; shut up and put your money where your mouth is, that's what you get for waking up in vegas"
"she said, get out of my way, i'm going somewhere this is not where i wanna be"
"what have you done today, to make you feel proud?!"
"if you got it all figured out, then what is there to shout about?"
"if you need to crash, then crash and burn you're not alone"
"he's everything you want, he's everything you need, he's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. he says all the right things, at exactly the right time, but he means nothing to you and you don't know why"
"you worry bout the wrong things, the wrong things, you worry bout the wrong things"
"you got me so hypnotized, the way yo body rollin round and round"
"i party like a rockstar, look like a movie star, play like an all star, fuck like a porn star"
"i'm on a boat"

:D love lyrics<3

life. in a nutshell.

2009-07-06T16:11:00.000-07:00

Why, hello there.
Where to start, okay well. It's summer. Woo. Boring, but oh so relaxing! My summer started off where I went to Indiana University Diving Camp for two weeks. Let me just say, that place is officially my favorite place on earth. Not even kidding. The atmosphere is just, amazing. You get your ass handed to you but at the end of the day it's just like, wow, I can't believe I did that. Also. The guys. Flat out amazing, I don't even need to go into details.
When I got home from camp it was a few days of just getting back into life, then I slept over at one of my verry good friend's houses, Lauren(go read her blog!) and we had funtimes, yes? Then, well that next Thursday(July 2nd) was a party at a friend's house. I met a few new people, but I won't go into too many details about the party besides there was a lot of truth or dare. Joy.
Friday. Carnival! With my best friend on the male side of things, Zach!
I acquired a new nickname too, thanks to his younger brother. LaShanda. Great, eh?
Saturday! Afternoon was torture, went to the mall with male from 2nd blog post. Pity me. Just Kidding. That night I went to the local fireworks with my ex-boyfriend. Yeah. I'm a smart one. It was fun though, I saw this one guy I know who is freaking gorgeous. It made my day. The fireworks were nice too, but holy crap, walking home I was terrified going through this one street! It was so dark and I literally sprinted out of there. I don't wanna get raped! Hah. And then there is yesterday where I just chilled. And same for today except I ran, and did my workout! Go me(:
That's all I guess? Hm. Yep. Wow. I'm boring D:

<3

goals and such

2009-07-06T15:03:00.000-07:00

Well it's always good to have goals, right?
Right.
So that's what I'm doing, I'm setting goals for myself. Later down the road, I may come back to this and decide to do an update blog, where I update if I have achieved any of the goals.
Onward to the goals! Talleyhoe!

To be able to flaunt an adorable swimsuit in Florida(November 8th-15th) without feeling completely self-conscious.
To meet someone who completely changes my life. Now, this isn't really a 'goal' but more of something I'd love to happen.
To start vlogging on YouTube.
Under 8 minutes on the mile this fall in school.
Qualify for States in Diving this upcoming season. I will achieve this.
Get a job. Make money.
Convince parents to let me pierce my bellybutton.
Longgg Hair!

As of now I can't think of any other things, but if I remember I'll definitely write them down.

general rambling

2009-07-05T19:42:00.000-07:00

You know, up til part of last year, I'd probably be begging for some of the attention I get now from the male side of the population. Begging. Not saying my current situation is something I'd un-wish, I just think my former-self was quite pathetic Quite a random thought, eh? Ah, slightly. You see, blog readers...(unless I'm talkin' to myself again), there are currently two...boys...in my life. Well. Not even in my life. They are, as me and my friend like to call, part of my flan club. These two shall remain nameless. One is on the diving team with me, the other I sat next to in a class for like, a marking period. Now boy numero uno consistently wants to hang out, ask me to a movie, etc. So finally yesterday I decided to give him a chance and go to the mall with him. Oh. My. Golly...haha golly. It was pure torture. We are two opposites, he's in ROTC at school, is a counselor at a boy scout camp(nothing against boy scouts...when your 8) and talks about things I either, do not understand, or I just don't give a damn about. I'm pretty sure we all know people like this, and I'm sure for most of us, we would not date them. So, onto bachelor number two! No. Just. No. He was crossing borderline obsessive a few days ago. Repeatedly asking if I'd go out with him after I repeatedly said I didn't know or not now because it's summer. I mean really. How hard is that to get through your head!?

I attract freaks. I swear.

Introduction?

2009-07-05T13:47:00.000-07:00

Hello blog readers(or lack there-of), I made this blog in attempt to help myself stay dedicated to losing a decent amount of weight and toning up. Which I have been trying to work towards majorly. This is also just an outlet for me to rant or gloat about whatever the heck is going on. I'm hoping to be able to start making YouTube videos and vlog as well as blog on here! Whether or not that is going to happen is unknown to me.
So everyone knows, I'm currently a fifteen year old girl, living in Pennsylvania. I'll be a Sophomore this upcoming school year. I am a diver and it is my life and you readers will probably hear a lot about it. I also play lacrosse, which you may or may not hear about.
I guess I'll post my original starting weight, with was 138 I believe. At diving camp, the last day the scale read 128. My scale here now says 136 today, though it has been known to be off. But what can you do. So I guess I'll have my starting weight set at 136 since I'm basing it off that scale.

<3